Mike’s Daily Blog

Do you want to know what one of my all-time worst pet peeves is?  Idiots who get in the express line at the grocery store knowing full well they have 30 damn items in their shopping cart.  OMG!  It irkes me.  I don’t do that.  I count my items before I get in that line and if I have over 15 then I get in the slower, longer line like everyone else.  If I’m in in a hurry, then I put some items back so I can get in the faster line with less than 15 items.  I was at Vons today and geesh I could have walked up to the lady who was piling on 30 items on to the conveyor belt and bitch-slapped her in the back of the head.  While she was slumped over from the blow I could have put her AND her shit load of groceries and pushed her in to one of the regular lines.  It would have made my day.  Just once, I mean just once, I’d love to see one of those cashiers stand up to one of these customers and make them get in the other line.  I’d pay real money to see that.  Grrrrrr.

Mexican words of the day:

The teacher told Pepito to use the word Cheese in a sentence.

Pepito replies: Maria likes me, pero cheese fat.

“Shoulder.” . . . .My tia wanted 2 become a citizen but she didn’t know how to read so I shoulder.

“TEXAS ” . . . My ruca always Texas me when I’m not home wondering where I’m at! ALSO: My Pinche friend always TEXAS me with dumb Jokes.

“Herpes”….Me and my ruca ordered pizza. I got mine piece and she got herpes.

“Rectum” . . . I had 2 cars pero my wife rectum!

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Almost.  As in not quite.  Really, as in not even close!  I’ve caught snippets of two Arena Football League games this week and I have to be honest.  I hate wannabe star athletes.  I really do.  The AFL and the hybrid, weak ass product they push impersonating real football is almost embarassing.  I hate the showboating.  I hate the trash talking.  I hate the lack of offensive and defensive discipline their version of the game promotes.  The Arena Bowl is July 27 and the San Jose Sabercats and Philadelphia Soul will square off in the atrocity that is called Almost Football.  Almost, but not quite.  I think I’ll be busy this Sunday trimming my nose hair or something.  Someone can fill me in later…blek.

I hate flakey people.  I mean, they just get on my nerves.  The fact that I’m a chronomaniac, and most of my world revolves around some sort of calendar or schedule, flakey people who pay no attention to being punctual or keeping appointments or committments really irke the hell out of me.  If you make a lunch plans with me I shouldn’t have to remind you to keep our date.  Especially if we have set a time and place.  For me, it’s set in stone.  When I say I’m going to be somewhere or do something, it’s a committment I have made and if something changes,  I will let you know.  People who just don’t show, with no call, or no follow up, or no apology of any kind are FLAKES.  What really gets me is that usually have no clue or take any accountability whatsoever.  You don’t want flakey, unreliable people on your staff, in your professional circle, or your personal life either.  Flakes be gone!

So this Bible verse has been running over and over in my mind this week so I thought I’d share it.  You’ll have to excuse the thee’s and thou’s of the original King James Version, I have a preference for it.  Yes, gay people read the Bible too so get over it! 

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”  –1 Corinthians 13:11

When you see a 7 year old riding his tricycle around and around the house as fast as he can all day you think, “Aw, that’s cute!”  If you see the same boy, 20 years later riding the same tricycle around the same house as fast as he can all day, that’s no longer cute.  That’s just sad.

This is my niece Marisol Rene Martinez.  She is 1 year old today.  She has a wonderful smile and wonderful personality.  She’s the daughter my mom never had and she’s already walking.  Happy Birthday Marisol from your Uncle Mike! 

So I’ve set up a new email for Mike’s Daily Blog.  If you see or read something of interest or that’s funny or you have a photo or cartoon or something that you think is blog worthy, send it on in…please!  I may not be able to use everything, but I’d love to see what some of you come up with:  mike@mikesdailyblog.com

I don’t know what’s hotter about this photo.  Is it the fact that he wears litle boy Hanes briefs, or the adorably cute little tush itself?  I guess you all can decide.