There are a lot of things people can do to me that might be horribly mean but I can pretty much recover from. I’m pretty durable. I grow up with an emotionally abusive, some times physically abusive, alcoholic father so I learned at a young age that “you never let them see you cry.” Most 12 year-olds shouldn’t have to learn those lessons but hey, life happens some times. I’ve been beat up, some times for good reason, some times for not so good reasons. I’ve been lied to, lied about, betrayed, and even spit on. Like I said, the boot camp I lived in when I was a child helped prepare me for almost anything in life. The one thing that I can’t stand, the one thing I can’t recover from very well, very quickly, or very often, is to be treated like I do not exist. I don’t think there is anything worse or more rude or more mean than to act as if someone who is or was important to you at one point in life is simply not there. I remember a few years ago sitting at a Denny’s for lunch with my then boyfriend and some of our friends. The aforementioned alcoholic abusive father walks in with some of his friends and sits two tables down from me. He never said a word to me although he walked right by my table…twice. His poor friends felt so awkward and quietly nodded my direction when they left. I also had an ex decide to manage his guilt and embarrassment by pretending I didn’t exist after he broke my heart. There is nothing worse than not being seen or acknowledged by someone you care about. 
Do you see me?
January 30, 2009 · 3 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
Tagged: abuse, break ups, life, love, random, Relationships
3 responses so far ↓
AllTimeLove // February 3, 2009 at 11:21 am |
It does hurt when people you once loved and who once loved you (Once? Still? Never?) pretend they don’t see you. It hurts … a lot. The physical act of ignoring someone is a reflection of the mental act of being dismissive, of saying “I see you, you know I do, but you don’t matter enough for me to acknowledge you.” It seems that way … maybe it isn’t always that simple.
Whatever they do is out of your control, but it doesn’t take away the pain; I understand.
Through it all remember this: Don’t ever stop seeing yourself.
Mike Martinez // February 3, 2009 at 5:42 pm |
What a great comment. Thanks.
Steve // February 12, 2009 at 9:36 pm |
We survived childhood abuse! Yay!